I just want to share a little more of my thought process.
I am closing in on my 3 month mark here and although I have not picked, I still can feel so frustrated with the process taking so long! I can feel so isolated, so alone and so unsupported by the society in which I live that places such an enormous importance on physical aesthetics!
But these feelings have brought me some tremendous insight into the human drama, my own included.
One thing I've realized on this journey is that this place, this physical plane of existance is the ONLY place I can do this work! This is an essential part of my soul's development and I don't want to carry this work forward with me from this life! Now I don't know what comes next, maybe it's another reincarnated life, maybe it's heaven or hell, maybe all that awaits me at the end of this physical journey is a decomposition in the earth's sweet soil, but what I do know is that this moment is the only time I have to do this work on this issue. Here and now, I am choosing to let this go and to heal! I believe this choice is changing my future life and more importantly I believe this work is changing my soul's work as well. Just by surrendering to this work and allowing this work to be my sole purpose, my SOUL purpose, I am allowing the natural will of the world to work itself upon me and that is such a gift!
I also am coming to realize that this may be my journey in this physical world, but it is the journey of each individual I come into contact with, as well. We are all here working this stuff out! My current karmic work is all over my face for the world to see, but when I feel ashamed or impatient looking at a friend with glowing clear skin, I have to remind myself that this friend has her own work to do as well! I can't see her work, but she has it too or she wouldn't be here!
So knowing this is my work for now, I am able to continue healing and surrendering and hopefully a year from now I can move on to even bigger soul work. I know that each day of this process is increasing my patience, my love, and my compassion towards others. And that work is a blessing and a gift!
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2 comments:
Way to go! 3 months no picking...I want to follow in your footsteps. Keep it up...you are doing a fantastic job tackling this habit and documenting it in a helpful way for others. Thank you!
(Formerly Tante...now Leigh)
Just rereading that, there is a point where I talk about looking in a friend's glowing face and wishing my skin was perfect... about not being able to see the work she is doing... that friend that I was thinking of while I wrote that just revealed to me a history of self abuse including anorexia. For me this just shows that the people around us are far more complicated than we can see on the surface! We must treat everyone with love and respect! We must not compare and compete! We have everything and nothing in common with those around us and we must be sensitive to our own Spirit's journey!
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