Letting Go! Surrendering my will!!!!!!!!!

In reading Anatomy of the Spirit and looking at the energy fields of the body, I noticed that the primary location where my skin continues to erupt in painful and horribly unattractive batches is in the area of my 5th Chakra. This section of the body's energy field relates to surrendering personal will to divine will.

In realizing this I see that I have been so actively focused in my healing process, so hands-on, but it has been from a very analytical point of view, using my rational knowledge of the world, healing and my body. It has also been very time driven, a constant focus on how long this is taking and a focus to the future of a life without this illness. And my body consciousness, meaning my focus on my physical body, is completely out of balance with the whole and complete essence of my entire being.

My biggest challenge in this process is to turn over my will to God. To surrender to this process. To lay down any personal hopes that I have in this and let what will be, be.

So starting yesterday, I have covered my mirrors in my house with cloths and posted a note reminding myself "Thy will, not mine, be done." And repeating a dialogue/prayer in my thoughts "This healing is Your healing. This suffering is Your suffering. I heal as You intend me to heal. I endure as You intend me to endure." A constant surrender to whatever is out there. Laying down my WILL. Accepting this moment as it is and not as I wish it to be.

Already, in just one day, changing the pattern of constantly looking at every minute detail of my skin, every pore, every eruption, every scar, every patch of clear skin, has profoundly reduced my anxiety. It has also freed all of that energy and TIME I was spending in front a mirror for me to use in developing other areas of my life. It feels like one of the best things I've done for myself!

I'll report the results as they appear!